Lt Col Latif lives in our hearts though he has gone to another world

Dear Members of TSEWA,

1.       I attended the funeral of Lt Col Abdul Latif Vadakkayil, President, Pension Division and Member National Executive Committee of TSEWA on 20 May 2018. I left Kozhikode, Kerala early morning on 21 May 2018 for Hyderabad. Since I had some time during travel, I realized how Lt Col Latif taught me few lessons even in his unconscious state from 18 to 20 May 2018. You may or may not agree with me.

2.       Lesson No 1: Your Wife is Your Greatest Possession in your Life and NOT your Earthly Items. Sgt RR Unni, President, Palakkad Dist, TSEWA told me on phone on 17 May 2018 after visiting the family in MIMS hospital, Kozhikode “ Sir, Mrs Latif is a brave lady. She is ready to face any eventuality”. I met Smt Nayeemath Latif on 18 May in Room No 2806 in Block 2 of MIMS Hospital,Kozhikode and was with the family members till Lt Col Latif passed away on 20 May 2018. I saw her from very close quarters how devoted she was to her ailing husband. She was all the time near his bedside nursing him. She was constantly rubbing his feet, legs and arms. She will check all the instruments are functioning so that Lt Col Latif in his unconscious state gets fluids and oxygen for breathing. She with help of few of us turn his body from one posture to other so that her husband does not get bed sores. She was doing namaz five times a day for revival of her husband. I noticed she hardly slept for more than one hour in a day. I told her in those three days that she should take rest otherwise she also will fall ill. The reply I used to get from her was a weak smile. When Dr Nazia broke the news at 1200 hrs on 20 May 2018 that Lt Col Latif is no more, she softly cried. That was the only time I saw her crying. Unlike wailing and breast beating we see in TV serials & Hindi films, she was composed and prepared for the end. She was grace, elegance and dignity personified. After seeing her during those tumultuous three days, I felt Lt Col Latif is the most fortunate man to have such an angel as his wife. She is daughter of (late) Prof Abdul Rahman, MSc, PhD. He was one of the professors who taught Dr APJ Abdul Kalam when  he was doing Aeronautical engg in Madras Institute of Technology (MIT), Chrompet, Madras. She is a post graduate and retired from Kendriya Vidyalaya as a teacher recently. Her only brother is Cdr KPA Rauf and she has six sisters.

3.       Lesson No 2: God Gives you Gifts and It is for you to Use Them. Lt Col Latif is so fortunate to have such wonderful large family. He is the eldest of five children of his parents. His 85 year old mother, a sprightly lady was at her son’s bed side all the time.  His younger brother Mr Abdul Razak is an engineer and graduated from NIT Kochi and served for long time in Middle East. His second younger brother Mr Mohiuddin is a business man and settled down in Dubai for the last 40 years. He has two sisters one is in Kozhikode and second one is in Palakkad. He has two sons (one in Bengaluru and one is a Naval Pilot in Vizag) and one daughter who came from Dubai. His sisters-in-law were great source of support helping his wife to cope up with the difficult times. From his wife’s side he had Cdr KPA Rauf, his brother – in – law and six Sisters-in-law (sisters of his wife). His two daughters – in – law and four grand children were at his bedside all those three days. When I asked his brother Mr Abdul Razak “ How much time did Lt Col Latif spend with you all ?”. His answer was “Very rare. He was with us only during family obligatory functions like marriages or deaths. Most of the time he used to be on TSEWA work moving from one place to another resolving problems of your Ex-Servicemen and their widows”. I felt Lt Col Latif should have spent more time with his near and dear ones who were all praying for his revival and looking after him like a baby when he was admitted in the hospital. They are the ones who was with him till his death and then in burial.

4.       Lesson No 3: You Get Only One Chance. Use it or Regret for Rest of Your Life: Lt Col Latif was with us in Coimbatore when an Ex-Serviceman rally was organized by Madras Regimental Centre (MRC), Wellington, Nilgiris in 2017. Cmde Sudheer Parakala, Col Srikantha Seshadri, Lt Col Latif, WO Thiru Chevlam and Hony Capt B Joseph were invited by MRC, Wellington to establish our stall and help the ESMs and family pensioners to get their problems resolved. Lt Col Latif can speak Tamil fluently and of course his mother tongue is Malayalam. So he could reach out to maximum number of retired personnel of Madras Regt who are mostly from Tamilnadu and Kerala.  That was the last time I saw of Lt Col Latif in full action in resolving problems of ESMs and family pensioners. Whenever I requested him to come for Awareness Camps anywhere in India, he was there. He rarely claimed any reimbursement for his expenditure for such visits from TSEWA. Then I got a call from him sometime in end of April 2018,  from Christian Medical College (CMC), Vellore that he is admitted there as a paying patient. He told me that expenditure is likely to be around Rs 2.50 lakhs. When I asked him whether he wants any financial assistance from TSEWA, he told me he has enough money and does not need any help. He did not tell me of his ailment. I told him Col Srikantha will look him up and ensure he gets all expenditure incurred in CMC Vellore reimbursed at CGHS rates after he is discharged from the hospital. With hindsight, I now feel, had I gone to CMC Vellore, may be I would have persuaded Lt Col Latif to undergo chemo therapy even at this belated stage though primary source of his cancer was not detected even by CMC, Vellore. But they did find his cancer cells in some parts of his body. May be after the cancer cells were destroyed in his bones, bone marrow, legs and brain may be the primary source of cancer also would have been found out. Then it also could have been killed by chemo therapy. I thought Lt Col Latif will undergo all medical tests recommended by CMC, Vellore. Later I came to know he refused Chemo. But I am now confident, had I been there in CMC Vellore instead of Kozhikode, I could have persuaded Lt Col Latif to undergo Chemo as there is no other alternative. It was only a stay of three months in Vellore. May be he could have survived. Today, I feel guilty that I did not see the only chance I got of saving him which came my way in end April 2018 and for the rest of my life I hold myself partially responsible for the untimely death of Lt Col Latif.

5.       Lesson No 4: Have Balance in Your Life. It is but natural for all of us to focus on the work at hand. But that should not be the only thing in our lives. We have to have balance in whatever we do. Lt Col Latif had only one goal in life and that is to see all ESMs and family pensioners are to get their entitled entitlements. I dare say since I know him so well he was thoroughly unbalanced. He went to their homes and resolved their problems at their door steps. I was told since last three months he was going around various towns and villages in Kerala, Karnataka and Tamilnadu on TSEWA work. I am not aware of his activities after I saw him last time in Coimbatore. He neglected his health. He was having constant fever after two and half months of his extensive travel from Jan to Mar 2018. He was taking paracetamol on his own for fifteen days. When he could not move any further he came back home and got admitted in MIMS Hospital, Kozhikode. Rest you all know. He could have spent some time with his two sons, one daughter, his 85 year old mother, two sisters and two brothers. He could have taken his wife along with him wherever he went so that she knows what he is doing. He could have played with his four grandchildren. But to no avail. His mission is only TSEWA work.

6.       Lesson No 5: You may have a Palace But What is its Use when you Hardly Stay there. At 1530 hrs on 20 May 2018, when I went to house of Lt Col Latif at Chungam Junction, West Hill, Lane Opposite to Volvo Show room on Kannur Road in Kozhikode to place two wreaths on behalf of TSEWA and SS – 18 course next to his mortal remains, I was astounded to see his palatial house. It is a two storied building with a huge sitting area at the entrance to his house, beautiful flower pots all over, huge drawing room, one smaller drawing room. I could not go into other rooms. Lt Col Latif was in Nigeria for some years and might have made some money there. He could build such a fine house with that money. I could only visualize what kind of detail Lt Col Latif might have gone into during construction of this beautiful house. He was an Electronics and Telecom Post graduate but seeing his house I thought he was a good architect to have such a fine house. But did he stay there? He was hitting the road all the time and left his house to the care of his devoted wife Smt Nayeemath Latif. It is very difficult to maintain such a huge house. I am attaching the picture of his house in Kozhikode.

7.       Lesson No 6: Be Flexible at Times. I found Lt Col Latif when convinced of his course of action will not budge from it even an inch. He was very inflexible. It was very difficult for anyone to convince him to change his method of working. He used to work throughout the night till early hours of the morning on resolving grievances of Ex-Servicemen and family pensioners. In spite of exhortation of his wife, he will not change his method of working till Smt Nayeemath pulled out the cable of his PC or Laptop and kept it under her pillow so that he is forced to sleep. He used to complain jokingly to me  that his wife is not allowing him to work in the night time. At times he used to call me at midnight.  When I picked up his call his explanation to me is “ Sir, I know you are still working. That is why I am calling you. I have this problem of an Ex-Serviceman or widow and how do I go about it?” The call used to be for almost 45 mins. Neither he will sleep nor will he allow me to sleep. I used to get e-mails from JWO Milan Das that Lt Col Latif  calls him at 0300 hrs at times and inquired whether complaint has been lodged in CPENGRAMS about a grievance of a pensioner.

8.       Lesson No 7: All Work and No Play Makes You an ill Boy.  Had Lt Col Latif slowed down his work of TSEWA and spent more time with his family, I feel cancer would not have hit him. He takes food from any road side dhaba nearest to his place of work not because he cannot afford to dine in a good hotel but only to save time on his lunches and dinners and use that for solving problems of ESMs and widows. His Pathologist relative told me that he could have got cancer by eating contaminated food or junk food or not sticking to right time for his meals. The primary source of cancer could have been his stomach. I still remember our visit to Kannur, in  Kerala for an Awareness programme organized by Col Govindan Nambiar, a gunner in 2016. Cmde Sudheer Parakala and self were put up In Kannur Officers’ Mess of DSC, in Kerala. We went there for an Awareness programme in 2016, Lt Col Latif joined us. We ordered lunch for two only but when Lt Col Latif joined us the number was three. When he realized that food was made only for two his immediate reaction is” Sir, I will eat food in the dhaba very near to this place and come back in 15 mins”. We told him to shut up and join us and told him meals made for two can be easily eaten by three. In any case I have less appetite. He never cared for minimum creature comforts and that has caused his downfall.

9.       Lesson No 8: Charity Begins at Home.  Cdr KPA Rauf, brother – in - law of Lt Col Latif told me in Kozhikode that few days before Latif was admitted second time in MIMS hospital on 16 May 2018,  in his semi-conscious state tells him “ I forgot to get my wife’ date of birth endorsed in PPO”. He did this job for many ESMs and family pensioners but did not do it for himself. Such a self-less worker is seldom seen.

10.      Lesson No 9: Before You Preach to Others Practice it Yourself. Cdr Rauf tells me that one week before Lt Col Latif was admitted in the hospital on 16 May 2018, knowing his sense of irresponsibility towards his own family, he dragged Latif to the bank. He found except for his pension account which was a joint account, Lt Col Latif did not make joint account in seven bank accounts in which he had lot of money. But for Cdr Rauf, Lt Col Latif on his own would not have done that with his bank accounts and Smt Nayeemath Latif would have to run from pillor to post to get credit balance of her husband if something happens to him which did happen on 20 May. Before one preaches to others, one should practice the same for one’s own good.

11.      Lesson No 10. Keep it Simple Damn It. In Golf they teach you to keep your swing simple and not complicated and then only you can hit the tiny golf ball correctly. Lt Col Latif got in touch with Lt Gen YN Sharma, former Army Cdr Central Comd and Col of Regt of Grenadiers for resolving pension problem of Mrs Moidu, wife of (late) Maj Moidu of Grenadiers. He was so motivated by the former Army Cdr that Lt Col Latif in his talk to me said he planned to visit villages in four states of Rajasthan, Haryana,  UP and MP from where the soldiers are recruited to Grenadiers. His aim was to go to the villages, collect them under one roof and resolve their problems at their door steps. He discussed this grandiose plan with me. I told him to drop such fancy plans as they do not work. On the other hand I told him I will join him in Jabalpur where Grenadier Regt Centre is located. We with assistance of Lt Gen YN Sharma make the Comdt GRC to invite few ESMs and family pensioners from few districts of those four states and then get one nominated from each district as our contact person. Once this is done then we can go to each of those districts in these four states and resolve problems at their door steps. Lt Col Latif wanted to resolve problems of 24 lakh pensioners in his life time. He could have done it had he kept his plans simple and workable. You cannot go to each village in four states in search of ESMs and family pensioners to resolve their problems.

12.      Lesson No 11: Help Yourself First before You can Help Others.  I got a call from Col Pillai from Kerala (may be Cochin) today 21 May 2018 at about 1130 hrs, while I was travelling from Hyderabad Air Port to my residence in Telangana State RTC Pushpak bus, that he needs assistance from TSEWA for his aunt (Chachi) who is a family pensioner... He inquired whether there is anyone in Kerala who can help his aunt. I told him “ Yes, there was Lt Col Latif Vadakkayil in Kozhikode who helped thousands and he could have helped your aunt too had she approached him three months back. But Lt Col Latif passed away yesterday and I am returning from Kozhikode after his burial. We have none in Kerala now”. Had Lt Col Latif learnt this simple lesson that if you have to live for others to get benefit from you then it is your own responsibility to keep yourself physically and mentally fit. He helped others but not himself.

13.      Lesson No 12:  Precious Moments Come Very Seldom. I do not know why anyone of us in HQ TSEWA never thought to visit Lt Col Latif at his home in Kozhikode when we had made so many Awareness programmes in Kerala. We were there in Ottapalem, Palakkad, Kannur, Mallapuram and Pathanamthitta from 2015 to 2017. Kerala is a small state and one can reach anyplace within 12 hrs. We could have met him and Smt Nayeemath Latif in happier times in his home, enjoying his abundant hospitality and chitchatting for long time. We could have stayed in his palatial house and made it as our permanent abode whenever we have to come to Kerala. We could have made Vadakayil house in Kozhikode as our firm base and carry out TSEWA operations in Kerala. Neither he invited me to his home nor I ever thought of going to his house to thank Smt Nayeemath Latif to spare her husband for TSEWA. I lost precious moments of my life and now I regret why I have been so irresponsible.    

14.      I really do not know whether I ever understood Lt Col Latif correctly though I and few of us like Cmde Sudheer Parakala, Col MJ Ganapathy, Col Srikantha Seshadri were very close to him because of several Awareness camps we had since 2015.  He was a very complex person, devoted and dedicated to his cause of helping others. But he neglected his own health which caused his untimely death. I can say without any hesitation he died for TSEWA. TSEWA cannot compensate his family by any means. We all wished had Lt Col Latif listened to our counsel a bit more seriously I would not have attended his burial yesterday, 20 May 2018. He was four years younger to me. We felt he has long life to strengthen TSEWA by his self-less work but he just disappeared so fast!!.

15.     Lt Col Latif lives in our hearts though he has gone to another world. He has got into my system and it is very difficult for me to throw out his memories. I do not think there is anyone in TSEWA who can come anywhere closer to him. I am miles away from him when I see how he toiled so hard and how died for TSEWA...