Classical Insults of Olden Era.-RAVI MAHAJAN

 

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great proportion of insults became 4-letter words.

1. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
3. "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill
4. "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill
5. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow
6. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
7. "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas
8. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --Mark Twain
9. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde
10. "I am enclosing two tickets to the FIRST NIGHT of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response.
11. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
12. "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
13. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
14. "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
15. "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard
16. "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed
17. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand
18. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker
19. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
20. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
21. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
22. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music.." -- Billy Wilder
23. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx